Gifts Not To Buy Your Girlfriend

  • Buddy, don't mess this one up...

    So your relationship is going well—maybe you have even introduced her to your parents, or you’ve moved into her place, or you know each other’s darkest secrets and PIN numbers. Don’t ruin the intimacy, and the relationship, with the wrong gift. Here are nine relationship bombs to avoid. Photo Credit: Getty Images
    Home-made cards
  • Home-made cards

    Hallmark and American Greetings exist for a reason. You may think it’s charming — and cost-effective — to create a card on your own, but she may object to the arts and crafts monstrosity you present to her. If your holiday card looks like a 5-year-old’s art project, or a psychopath’s ransom letter, perhaps it’s best to spend $2 or $3 on a professional card. Photo Credit: Getty Images
    Lover’s body paint
  • Lover’s body paint

    The company that sells something called Lover’s Body Paint hails the product as offering three new “delicious ways to explore your lover.” It comes in milk chocolate, dark chocolate raspberry and rich caramel. As one female colleague explained, this one may send the wrong message. Wait until you've been married for a few years for this one, when you might want to spice things up. If you want to buy her chocolate, for normal consumption, that’s fine … but just make sure a brush isn’t included, Picasso. Photo Credit: KamaSutra.com
    An IRA or online savings account
  • An IRA or online savings account

    We are huge fans of financial responsibility — being a personal finance site and all — but enrolling your girlfriend in an online savings account or IRA may cool the mood rather quickly. You’re her boyfriend, not her overbearing father or accountant. Plus, you don’t want to imply that you think she’s in the poor house or heading there. Photo Credit: Fidelity.com
    True Blood on DVD
  • True Blood on DVD

    HBO’s True Blood on DVD, or the original book version of True Blood, would be a fatal gift mistake. She won’t spend time with you anymore if you get her a DVD box set or a bunch of Charlaine Harris novels. That stuff is too addictive. Photo Credit: Amazon.com
    Pets
  • Pets

    Guinea pig, fish, cat — it doesn’t really matter. If it’s alive, it will take up her time. That’s less time you’ll get to spend with her — especially if it’s a really cute animal. Get her tickets to an aquarium or zoo instead. That way you can appreciate animals together and you won’t have to clean up any messes. Photo Credit: Getty Images
    A fake engagement ring
  • A fake engagement ring

    A wooden ring or something from the grocery store vending machine will just make her very, very sad. If you can’t get her the real thing, don’t get a cheap version. It will only serve as a reminder to her that you don't have your stuff together. When you decide to do it, do it right the first time. Photo Credit: tnarik
    An “extreme” vacation
  • An “extreme” vacation

    Tickets for two to paradise is actually a great gift idea, so I’m not against vacations in general. But avoid any exotic trip that requires an extensive battery of immunizations, an acclimation period at “base camp,” or an armed escort. She’s your girlfriend, not a war journalist (unless, of course, you're dating Christiane Amanpour... actually she's married). Photo Credit: ilker
    Strip club gift certificate
  • Strip club gift certificate

    Taking her to a gentlemen’s club is probably not going to win you any points, and encouraging her to go to a male strip club—why do that to yourself? She shouldn’t be reminded that there are better looking men out there. Photo Credit: livenature
    Noise-canceling headphones
  • Noise-canceling headphones

    Although it may seem sexy to give your significant other a $300 pair of killer noise-canceling headphones, think before you give. Those high-tech eardrum pounders will, eventually, cancel out one of your many brilliant observations. You don’t want her accidentally tuning you out when you have a great joke or an inspired observation. Photo Credit: Getty Images
    Tooth whitening appointment
  • Tooth whitening appointment

    No one likes the dentist so don’t give her a coupon to an afternoon of dental hell — getting blasted by a laser beam is not the average girl’s idea of a great time. Her teeth are fine just the way they are... and if they aren't, get her best friend to tell her. You don't want any part of that conversation. Photo Credit: Getty Images
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