New Sponsors for Tiger Woods

  • Lost in the Woods

    At the height of the Tiger Woods Sex-Golf-Gate debacle we put together this tongue-and-cheek list of sponsors that might be interested in working with him, now that he's not so squeaky clean. Well, Tiger is finally talking to the public again (he's got a press conference scheduled for later today), so it seems appropriate to revisit this list. Yes, he's lost some major sponsors, but he's got a brand to rebuild. When we first published this, Accenture (Stock Quote: ACN) had just become the first sponsor to end its relationship with the golf star, reasoning that Woods was “no longer the right representative.” And Gillette announced that it would stop airing advertisements featuring Woods for an indefinite period of time. According to one estimate, Woods could lose close to $200 million in endorsements and tournament money if he takes the next year off from golf. And these companies are not the only ones weary of the tarnished golfer. A survey from Argyle Executive Forum found that more than three quarters of marketers would “cancel, reduce or suspend” doing business with Woods if they were using him for endorsements. Still, there are some companies that might be able to capitalize on Tiger Woods’ new image, and turn a bad situation into a great marketing opportunity. So, Tiger, if you’re reading this, here are 10 companies that could serve as your new sponsors. I’d wait by the phone ... I’m sure they’ll be calling. Photo Credit: Keith Allison
  • Ambien

    Clearly Tiger Woods never sleeps. How else could he have found the time to maintain a family, a busy golfing schedule and a cadre of women? So perhaps he should get Ambien to sponsor him. I can see the slogan now: Because crazy things happen when you can’t fall asleep in your own bed at night. Photo Credit: mattza
  • Sprint

    AT&T (Stock Quote: T) has already limited Tiger’s role as a sponsor for their company, and may drop him in the near future. While we understand that Tiger’s image could be controversial for companies promoting a family image, it’s time cell phone companies recognize the dirty truth: A lot of young people use their cell phones for sexting. Who better to be a spokesman for cell phone texting plans than Tiger Woods? If AT&T doesn’t want him, Sprint (Stock Quote: S) should snatch him up. Although, he'd have some pretty big shoes to fill there. Photo Credit: joi
  • Trojans

    If Tiger Woods wants to fully embrace his new brand of notoriety, he could become a spokesperson for this popular condom company. In fact, his first name could be a perfect fit for a new line of condoms. In an odd way, this partnership could actually help his image. If you are going to cheat with multiple partners, at least make sure you do it safely. Photo Credit: trec_lit
    Las Vegas
  • Las Vegas

    Perhaps the only place more wrecked than Tiger’s home is the city of Las Vegas. The two should join forces. I can see the commercial now. It’s Tiger getting out of a stretch limo with four beautiful women in tow. He looks to the camera, smiles, and says, “From now on I’m having all my affairs in Las Vegas. You know what they say. What happens here, stays here ... which is why I’m moving here.” Photo Credit: http2007
  • Axe

    How else could he get that many beautiful women? He’s not Brad Pitt. He’s a golfer, and also kind of a dork. Clearly, Tiger Woods has something up his sleeve and if the folks over at Axe play their cards right, that special something could be the seductive scent of Axe body spray. Photo Credit: Arturo de Albornoz
    Paternity Test Kits
  • Paternity Test Kits

    OK, so our first choice for this is really John Edwards, but we’re pretty sure that’s not going to happen, so how about it, Tiger? As it turns out, the first over-the-counter paternity test kit, manufactured by International Biosciences, went on sale in the U.K. last month, and caused a bit of controversy. Perhaps Tiger could help smooth it over with a solid endorsement. It would give him an excuse to take a long hiatus from America and his many critics. We hear the paparazzi in Britain are really mellow. Photo Credit: melissaclark
    Ed Hardy Clothing
  • Ed Hardy Clothing

    Tiger is not the first crestfallen celebrity and he won’t be the last. So perhaps he should take a page from Jon Gosselin (of Jon & Kate Plus 8) and endorse Ed Hardy Clothing. It’s one of the few clothing lines that deliberately seeks out celebs who are giant screw-ups. Photo Credit:
    The Hummer
  • The Hummer

    We’re talking about the car, people. The car. Hummer sales have been in a downward spiral for the past couple years and GM (Stock Quote: GM) recently sold off the line to a company in China. But perhaps Tiger could reignite the brand with his powerful pitch: "Hummer, a car built so strong you can ram into a fire hydrant and still be able to drive away from your crazed Swedish wife." It shouldn’t really matter that he was actually driving an Escalade ... they’re part of the GM family. Photo Credit: TravOC
    Vivid Entertainment
  • Vivid Entertainment

    Tiger is clearly fond of adult performers, and intentionally or not he has already drawn attention to this and other adult brands, so why not get paid for it? We’re pretty sure Vivid would go for it. They are already reaching out to his ladies. Photo Credit: megawatts86
    Sorry! (The Board Game)
  • Sorry! (The Board Game)

    Sure he’s apologized already, but if you think Tiger is done saying he’s sorry, you are mistaken. Every time that guy walks into his house from now until the day he dies, he’s going to look at his wife with sad, pathetic eyes, and say, “Sorry.” For the foreseeable future he’ll also be apologizing to his friends, family and everyone associated with the game of golf. Since he’s going to be saying the word so frequently, he might as well get paid for it. Photo Credit:
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