The Five Dumbest April Fools' Quiz Answers


We here at the Five Dumbest Lab love April Fools' Day, in fact it's our favorite holiday because nobody likes to celebrate foolish behavior more than we do.

And the winner of our quiz is?

From the Volunteer State, it's Loren Demaree, of Knoxville, Tenn. Loren wins an autographed copy of Jim Cramer's book Getting Back to Even.

Now here, the quiz with the answers.

1. After Dubai ran into financial troubles and was unable to service its multibillion debt load, it was bailed out by neighboring emirate Abu Dhabi. To show its appreciation, Dubai's ruler changed the name of the world's largest skycraper from "Burj Dubai" to what?

A. Dubai State Building

B. Mega Burj

C. Burj Khalifa

D. Burjer King

Answer: C. The monumental structure was rechristened to honor Khalifa Bin Zayed, the president of the United Arab Emirates and monarch of Abu Dhabi. It was the least they could do -- the very least.

2. For what reason did Michael Skarzynski resign from his job as CEO of radio ratings provider Arbitron in January?

A. sleeping on the job

B. lying to Congress

C. payola

D. Crayola

Answer: B. Skarzynski was booted out for telling a congressional Committee he participated in a home visit to Arbitron panelists when in fact he had not.

3. What did Cadbury Chairman Roger Carr call Kraft in January a week before accepting its $19.5 billion buyout bid?

A. "low growth" and with a "long history of underperformance"

B. "fast growing" and with a "fantastic pipeline of new products"

C. "speedy as a rabbit" and with a "real wild side like Lady Gaga"

D. "quick as a wink" and with a "side of fries"

Answer: A. After insulting Kraft and its management for months, Carr spun around and took the sweet offer for his candy company, calling it a "good value for Cadbury shareholders."

4. How much did NBC parents GE and Comcast pay late night host Conan O'Brien to walk away after just eight months of work?

A. $32.5 million

B. $20 million

C. $10 million

D. $100 million

Answer: A. Conan pocketed all that dough for less than a year of work. And he doesn't even work at Goldman Sachs!

5. How did Microsoft founder Bill Gates describe Chinese restrictions when asked in January about Google's battle with Beijing over censorship?

A. "very limited"

B. "easy to go around it"

C. all of the above

D. none of the above

Answer: C. Bill is cozying up to the Chinese. But will it vault Bing over Baidu?

6. How did former Sun Microsystems CEO Jonathan Schwartz announce his resignation in February?

A. with a sonnet on a cocktail napkin

B. with a limerick on parchment

C. with a haiku on Twitter

D. with a song on

Answer: C. Unneeded after Oracle bought the company, Schwartz resigned on Twitter by writing a haiku: "Financial Crises, Stalled too many customers, CEO no more."

7. In what country were three Google executives found guilty for not removing quickly enough an online video of teen bullies beating up an autistic boy?

A. Greece

B. Portugal

C. Ireland

D. Italy

Answer: D. Italian judge Oscar Magi sentenced the three executives in absentia to a six-month suspended sentence. Stupido!

8. Which controversial college basketball coach did Fortune Brands enshrine on a commemorative bourbon bottle, despite his long-running problems with the NCAA?

A. Dean Smith

B. Adolph Rupp

C. Mike Krzyzewski

D. John Calipari

Answer: D. The folks at Fortune may have jinxed Coach Cal, who is as famous for forfeiting tournament games as he is for winning them. His heavily favored Kentucky Wildcats fell before reaching the Final Four.

9. What new Cisco product did CEO John Chambers say would "forever change the Internet" when he introduced it in March?

A. the Flux Capacitor

B. the iPad

C. the c3po

D. the CRS-3 Router

Answer: D. Yeah, for all Chambers' hype, we forgot about it, too. Maybe he should hire Steve Jobs next time.

10. Actress Lindsay Lohan announced in March she is suing which of the following brokers for allegedly defaming her in its Super Bowl commercial?

A. E*Trade Financial

B. TD Ameritrade

C. Charles Schwab

D. Goldman Sachs

Answer. A. Lohan alleges the so-called "milkaholic" baby named Lindsay featured in E*Trade's ad is a reference to her tabloid-chronicled substance-abuse problems. We say she has bigger problems to worry about!

BONUS: According to a report released in March, what was the name of the accounting trick that enabled Lehman Brothers to hide more than $50 billion worth of toxic assets before it filed for bankruptcy in September 2008?

A. Enron 101

B. Repo 105



Answer. B. Through the use of shady Repo 105 transactions, Lehman played hide and seek with billions of dollars in questionable assets in order to make the bank appear financially sound. In case you haven't heard, it wasn't.

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