4. Ludicrous Lawsuits
While it is our sworn duty to seek out and report acts of business buffoonery, we here at the Five Dumbest Lab firmly maintain that we are by no means anti-business, just anti-dumb. In fact, we believe that few organizations are more sympathetic to corporate America's plight than us, especially when it comes to outlandish lawsuits like the pair we witnessed late last week.
First up, a Michigan woman is suing United Airlines (Stock Quote: UAUA) for negligence and distress after she fell asleep on a United Express flight to Philadelphia only to wake up alone on the plane more than three hours after it landed. Ginger McGuire claimed she was cooped up in the jumbo jet for an additional 15 minutes after she awoke, pacing the aisles until police finally unlocked the door and demanded identification.
"For a crew to leave her there and lock her is beyond a gross abuse," said McGuire's attorney, Geoffrey Fieger.
We object, counselor! For a judge and jury to be locked in a courtroom and forced to listen to this nonsense would be the real gross abuse. In this case, we are united with United when we say it's time for McGuire and Feiger to wake up and smell the stupidity.
Similarly, we have zero compassion for Lauren Rosenberg, the Los Angeles-area woman suing Google (Stock Quote: GOOG) for more than $100,000, alleging that Google Maps led her onto a dangerous Utah roadway where she was struck by a car causing her physical and emotional pain.
The suit states: "Google undertook the duty to exercise reasonable care in providing safe directions to patrons of its Google Maps service. But
Google failed to warn plaintiff Rosenberg of said known dangers...."
What a crock! Rosenberg's injuries may be unfortunate, but she can't blame Google for giving her bad directions. We garner that if she Googled "frivolous lawsuit" her very own case may appear near the top of the heap. And if not, then it should.
Dumb-o-meter score: 80 -- Dumb lawsuits are bad for everybody's business ... but ours!