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8 Fictional Products We Wish We Could Buy


Wafflebot (A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas)

Harold and Kumar may get top billing, but as far we’re concerned this little robot was the breakout star of the franchise’s third film. The hot toy of the holiday season, Wafflebot was, as you might have guessed, a robot that made you waffles. Just pour the batter into its head and the robot will make you a waffle and present it on a platter, and a retractable spout will cover it in warm maple syrup.

That alone would make it a must-have item. But after Harold and Kumar receive a Wafflebot from Neil Patrick Harris, it proves to have a surprising amount of personality. The robot forms an emotional bond to Kumar, constantly expresses its hatred for pancakes and even saves their lives at one point.

We think Kumar said it best: “I love you, Wafflebot.”

The Bluth Family’s Cornballer (Arrested Development)

Even in the fictional world of Arrested Development, the Cornballer is a rare item – after a failed attempt by George Bluth Sr. to market it in both the U.S. and Mexico, it appears that the Bluth family owns one of the few models around. And there’s a good reason for that: The outer surface of the deep-fryer gets scorching hot while in use, giving horrific burns to anyone foolish enough to touch it. As such, it’s illegal to sell anywhere.

Still, we couldn’t pass up the opportunity to deep-fry our own cornballs whenever we were in the mood, so we’d snatch this up if it appeared on the shelves at Crate & Barrel. Just make sure you don’t touch it. 

Buzz Beer (The Drew Carey Show)

One of the greatest brainstorms from the criminally underrated Drew Carey Show was Buzz Beer, a concoction of coffee and beer that Drew creates in a desperate bid to pull himself out of his financial difficulties. It boasted the caffeine of a cup of coffee and the alcohol of a bottle of booze, and was marketed under the slogan “Stay up and get drunk all over again.”

Sound familiar? Anheuser-Busch briefly flirted with caffeinated beer when it released Bud Extra, which contained guarana and caffeine, until the brewer shut it down over complaints that it looked too much like an energy drink. And last year there was the notorious Four Loko, a highly caffeinated and highly alcoholic malt liquor product made by Phusion Projects that tasted like melted jolly ranchers. Phusion Projects, too, was forced to remove the caffeine from Four Loko after coming under assault by the Food and Drug Administration.

So a real-life Buzz Beer wouldn’t exactly find a friendly regulatory climate. But if a microbrewery in Cleveland started making this, we’d be first in line to grab a six-pack.

Read More:   cool stuff, movies
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