Voices of MainStreet: Lisa Rae Rosenberg

Smartphone Convert, Eventually

March 25, 2011

My first encounter with a cellphone was on a job in the early 90’s: We used a field production phone that resembled a brick. We called it “the M*A*S*H phone” and I was not in favor of carrying around this clunky paperweight. Why did I need that when I had a perfectly serviceable beeper and a pay phone on every corner?

I am never the first in line for the “new” anything. (Please see my 15-year-old station wagon.) I received my first cellphone as a gift and used that same one for four years. I was too busy (cheap) to upgrade and when I finally did it was only because the duct tape wasn’t working to hold the battery in anymore.

Two phones later, my cell came with Fiddy Cent’s “In Da Club” loaded as the ring tone. I did not request this, nor could I ever figure out how to change it. Every time I got a call, I was instructed to party like it’s my birthday. I started referring to the cat as “shawty.” It was a dark time.

My “In Da Club” phone was the old school fold-in-half-to-close style. My son’s friend Ava saw it sitting on our counter and asked what it was. When I replied, “That’s my cell phone,” she shook her head, “That’s not a cell phone.” It was time for an upgrade.

When my husband got a new iPhone, I inherited his old one. I had often dismissed the need to check email away from home. Now that my email, Facebook and Twitter are available anywhere, I do check them. I won’t admit to how often.

Growing up in a time before answering machines and VCRs, the fact that I am now spoiled with a phone that can take photos and videos, play music and TV shows and connect to the internet is astonishing. Our cell bill for two iPhones is not inexpensive but when I consider the techno-miracle we are paying for, it seems worth the money. It really is like every day is my birthday.

—Lisa is a former comedy writer for television. She now writes about her funny family at her blog Smacksy.com.