Britney's Obituary

No matter how famous -- or infamous -- you are, there’s nothing quite like rolling out of bed one morning-slash-late afternoon only to discover that the Associated Press has already penned your obituary. But that’s exactly what happened to 26 year-old pop sensation Britney Spears on Thursday, January 17th when Us Weekly revealed that the renowned newswire service had preemptively written her death notice

In light of Spears’ propensity for revolving-door rehab stays, purported drug usage and her recent two-night stint in the loony bin, many were quick to attribute the AP’s, er, fastidiousness to the singer’s increasingly erratic behavior. However, AP entertainment editor Jessie Washington points out that it’s long been standard news practice to prepare public figures’ obituaries well in advance.

"I think one would agree that Britney seems at risk right now,” Washington told Us Weekly. “Of course, we would never wish any type of misfortune on anybody and hope that we would never have to use it until 50 years from now…but if something were to happen, we would have to be prepared."

Incidentally, so would Britney Spears.

As the old saying goes, “Chance favors the prepared mind,” and no one has more to lose than the former Mouseketeer.

According to recent figures in the London’s Daily Mail, Spears has banked approximately $26.5 million in music sales (albums, tours, royalties) since 1999, plus another $21.6 million in endorsements. Add that to her merchandising revenues ($16.7 million, mostly from perfume sales) and rumored $22.5 million in property value, and it’s easy to see why Forbes ranked her as the 12th richest woman in entertainment (one slot below the Olsen twins, and one ahead of Judith “Judge Judy” Sheindlin) in 2007 and estimated her net worth at a staggering $100 million.